For Pets
Certified Human Disappointment Technician (For Pets)
Certified Human Disappointment Technician (For Pets)
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😾 Certified Human Disappointment Technician
You brought them home. You loved them. They judged you anyway.
🎓 Presenting the Certified Human Disappointment Technician Certificate from Catvard School of Cold Shoulders and Chaos. This dignified diploma recognizes the feline who excels at the age-old tradition of letting you know you’re not quite good enough.
🐾 Why This Makes the Purr-fect Gift:
✔️ Personalized with your cat’s name
✔️ Perfect for every judgmental furball
✔️ Looks great above their chosen napping throne
✔️ A hilarious, passive-aggressive tribute to their passive-aggressive vibes
💬 Just a Taste of the Glory:
“I knocked your plant off the table because I could.”
– Recipient, proudly
✅ Great For:
- Cat moms and dads who’ve been ignored
- Gifts for your favorite antisocial feline
- Funny pet-owner pranks
- People who are just staff in their own homes
📐 Product Specs:
Size: 8" x 10"
Paper: Premium enhanced matte (emotionally non-absorbent)
Thickness: 10.3 mil
Weight: 189 g/m²
Brightness: 104%
🙌 All About the Experience:
- Custom cat name printed on your certificate
- Professionally produced and shipped with a shrug
- Designed to deliver laughs... and maybe some hisses
😾 Disclaimer: Certificate may cause smirks, eye rolls, or sudden naps in forbidden places.
🧾 This is a custom product, lovingly made just for you. All sales are final.
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Let customers speak for us
from 10 reviewsHonestly didn’t expect this level of print quality for a gag gift. The paper feels premium, colors pop, and it arrived super quick. Perfect gift for literally anyone with a sense of humor.
Honestly didn’t expect this level of print quality for a gag gift. The paper feels premium, colors pop, and it arrived super quick. Perfect gift for literally anyone with a sense of humor.
These certificates are the perfect mix of classy and funny. Got one for my dad, one for my coworker, and now I’m hooked. Shipping was fast, packaging was nice, great overall experience.
The seal, the font, the design, all look real. My friend thought it was a real award until he read the title. Gave us the biggest laugh of the night.
My friend has a pile of half-read books and half started projects. This certificate was made for him. Great print quality, looks like a real degree.
I gifted it to my friend who keeps saying ‘this next coin will moon.’ He nearly cried laughing. Worth every satoshi.
The cats dont really care about the piece of paper, but as their humans we found it extremely funny and fitting. The two cats are great at making loud crashes and galloping thuds throughout the home at night
My mother-in-law absolutely LOVES her prank certificate! She even framed it and put it on display in the hallway. She's been helping with our laundry since our dryer broke and over time she's amassed quite a collection of single kids socks. She's always on the lookout for matches when she picks up the next load. This certificate was the perfect way to say thank you and share a laugh about all the missing socks
🤔 Frequently Asked (and Occasionally Silly) Questions
How fast will my certificate arrive?
Each masterpiece is printed fresh to order, no pre-printed pranks lying around here! 🖨️
It usually takes 5–7 days to create and ship your certificate straight from the USA. Totally worth the wait for something this “official.” 😉
Is the stamp or seal actually embossed?
Not quite, but the print and paper quality are museum-level.
We use thick, premium paper and high-resolution printing that looks so real, people might actually believe you graduated. 🏅
Do the certificates come framed?
No frame included, you’ll receive the 8″×10″ printed certificate (a standard size that’s super easy to frame).
Pro tip: pop it into a gold frame and it instantly looks Ivy-League fancy. ✨
What if I want to return it?
Since every certificate is custom-printed just for you, we don’t accept returns.
That said, almost everyone loves their order, it’s rare anyone isn’t cracking up! 😂
But if something doesn’t look right or you’re not happy for any reason, send us a message.